Last night, my girlfriend and I went shopping at Target for birthday presents. It was after 8:30pm which gave us an hour and a half before closing time. We ended up in the DVD section looking for something to buy Rena (who's turning 29...or is it 28?)... Anyway, we ended up looking at the $10 movies. Two movies seem like a great gift but we had to decide which two to get. Selection was decent enough with "Big Fish" (didn't see it but heard great things) and "Garden State" but we were still deciding. As we were looking, this Asian American lady was browsing as well. She had to be in her late 50s, early 60s. Politely, she asked us, "Excuse me... did you happen to see this movie?" showing us "Under the Tuscan Sun" which she was holding in her hand. I pointed to my girlfriend as I hadn't had the fortune of seeing it. Glo-dee-nee gave it the thumbs up and that was the end of it.
...well, so we thought.
I'd like to forget everything else that followed since it's an hour of our life that we'll never have back. Hawaiian Stranger (her accent was a dead giveaway) proceeded to ask us about every single movie on the shelf - whether we saw it or not. She asked us if we had seen War of the Worlds. We hadn't. But that didn't stop her from revealing scenes which obviously ruined the element of surprise for us. Then...THEN... she described the first few scenes to a movie she's writing. A movie which she would have to cast a very strong female character... obviously, that meant it had to star someone like...hmmmm... Vanessa Marcil? O H, M Y G A W D! ! ! ! Hawaiian Stranger nearly put me to sleep describing every little detail of her story:
It's about a lady who came from a wealthy family who just recently got divorced for about six months and now has moved to Arizona and she's a real smart lady who was an equestrian/diver who even competed in the olympics but I can't remember whether she won a medal or not but she's in Arizona now and has only been there for a couple of days and her brother calls her without too much information and says that she has to go home right away to georgia or some other state like that and she goes home and it's raining and her heel breaks and she knocks on the door and it's muddy and she steps in glass which reminds her of the glass she stepped in arizona which came from jack daniels bottle and how that's possibly from the same type of bottle and then she starts running 'cause two henchmen are chasing her maybe the same ones she saw in arizona who were driving by but didn't think anything at the time 'cause that's just people passing by and so her and her brother howard start running down dark tunnels that they used to run down when they were kids and they didn't go down the part that is boarded up 'cause they couldn't do it when they were kids and they weren't going to do it now so they go down one part and then she can see water coming from far away and she decides to keep going and she has to dive and hold her breath which she can do since she was a diver/equestrian but the guy somehow follows her and then she's scared 'cause there's an alligator and it reminds her of a log and... can you guess what happens at the end? huh, huh, huh? oh, you think it's the dad? or the ex-husband? no, no, no... it's going to be someone that I didn't even tell you about and I'll have to copyright that ending...
We COULD NOT get a word in edgewise. When finally given a chance, I said, "Oh, we have to get going now". I swear, we left as quickly as we could walking as far from that section as we could get. We decided to just go with "Big Fish" and "Garden State" since that's what I had in my hand. Hawaiian Stranger pretty much dismissed our recommendations. But she was definitely a sweet lady who just wanted to talk to someone. Poor lady. Still, one shouldn't have to be bored like that unless they're family. It's gotta be a law.
Never, never, NEVER will I ever talk to a stranger again. I've learned my lesson. Or maybe not. But still, I don't think I'll be having random conversations anytime in the near future... Until, next time... Aloha (in Hawaiian, it not only means "Hello"... it also means "Thank goodness I was able to get away from you")
4 comments:
Oh how I feel for you. You just gotta be straight up rude like me. :) I'm lovin' the accompanying picture. Yes, just say no to Daryl Hall and John Oates. Hmmm...I didn't know he had straightened his black hair.
Um... yeah... so if you were so obviously scarred by Hawaiian woman, why would you tell us the story she told you, thus scarring us? You should have just started convulsing.
Daryl Hall & John Oates? I thought that was in reference to both the picture and the subject "Don't Talk to Strangers" (the tune's in my head...again...grrr). But I was wrong about the song. That's actually Rick (or Richard) Springfield's hit, not DH & JO. But, yeah, I agree, that picture sure does look like those two. Hehehe...
I think I ran into this same woman at Nordstroms a few days ago. I kept thinking she was talking to someone else before realizing she was talking to me like we were old pals. I couldn't get away from her. Maybe it's paybacks for shopping when I should've been studying. I should've asked about her movie deal. (Oh so glad I didn't.)
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