So I get in the elevator after work to head out of the building from our fifth floor office. It's usually a lonely ride in my escape from Active Voice... but, on this particular trip, it's a full load when I get in. Actually, there were only four people. But, with as small as our elevator is, it seemed like a whole bunch more. There are two younger guys, 'bout my age, carrying boxes filled with paperwork. I don't notice the two others who are against the side walls of the elevator. I'm focused on these first two 'cause they're struggling, especially this one dude trying to balance a cup of coffee on the top of his load. They're taking up a lot of room, invading my personal space. Noticing that the third floor button is lit, I realize I'm gonna have to step out to so one of these fools can get out. Mr. Coffee says, "Yeah, we're auditors for the state..."
Third floor, doors open, and I step out briefly in order to get out of the first two guys' way. In leaving, I'm amazed at Mr. Coffee's focus on making sure his drink doesn't spill. Quite impressive. I feel like I should applaud. Instead, I get back into the elevator and, being one never to miss an obvious observation, say out loud, "Man, that guy sure needed his cup of coffee". A slight chuckle from the remaining two. I don't deserve it since there's nothing especially funny about obvious comments. But, I appreciate their politeness as I step to the back wall of the elevator.
Normally, I don't look at people in an elevator. It's only right not to stare. But I can't... help... but... notice... the guy to my left is rather... tall. I look over... and up. Way up. Who do I see? Friggin' Bill Russell! That's right. Bill "What the HELL are YOU doing in the elevator with me???" Russell. He was a five-time NBA MVP, 12-time All-Star, and won eleven championships with the Boston Celtics. Yes, it's jaw droppin' time.
When it comes to celebs, I don't care 'bout autographs. I just like to say, "Hello..." to see if they're nice or not. Now, what moment would this be? Would this be another Shaun Alexander moment? Last October, I saw Shaun outside the theater down the street. Trying to play it cool, I confidently said to him, "Hey Shaun... 'sup?" His response of , "Hey, man..." made me feel like we were long-lost friends. I replied back, "Great game the other day..." And he genuinely reacts with a, "Gee.. thanks!"
Yeah, I could do that again with Mr. Russell. I was sure I could say something smooth. You know, something to make this moment last forever. Something I could brag about to my friends. Maybe I could chat it up with Bill 'bout the Sonics? Heck, maybe Billy-Boy here would want to head to Starbucks for a double-tall-non-fat-iced-mocha. We could joke about those silly auditors who got out of the elevator. I really wanted to say something impressive to Willy...
But, instead, what happens? In typical Rodney-fashion, I blurt out, "Wow... I can't believe I'm in the elevator with a star..."
[echo] star, star, star... [echo]
[silence]
What... did... I... just... say? Man, it was silent for such a long time. Mr. Russell, knowing that I probably hadn't had my medicine yet, broke the silence with, "Yeah, me neither..."
Dammit. He was mocking me. I felt like such a fool. C'mon elevator. Open, open, open. Finally, were on the first floor. Bill gestures for me to go first. But I insist, "No, no, you guys first."
Mr. Russell and his buddy go ahead & step out before me. But not without Mr. Russell saying, "Oh... age before beauty, eh?" Ugh. Another mockatory comment! Cmon, me beauty? I later learn from James, the barista from the espresso cart, that Mr. Russells lawyers are in our building. He was probably the other guy in the elevator. So, maybe one day I can redeem myself? Ummmmm... no.
So... alright. At least Bill Russell was a nice enough guy. I mean, look at his picture. Doesn't that smile just spell N-I-C-E???
But I had proven again that, yes, you SHOULD think before talking. Oh, well. At least it gave me something to finally blog about.
3 comments:
It's okay. At least you didn't blurt out like a little school girl that you love the guy. That's what I did when I met that dude from Rent that I like. You know, that dude? Yeah. That was a little embarrassing.
Dude, at least you said something. I regret that time when I wussed out on saying something to Brooke Burke. Damn it, I regret that a lot. At least you have no regret!
Plus you were just making small talk. What you said was just normal. If you said the same thing to a normal stranger it would have been the same. I think you did fine but that’s just me. Take it easy.
People say that stuff all the time when I'm in the elevator with them. We don't mind. It comes with the territory.
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