Sweet Dreams Are Made of These

I had an interesting dream last night. It involved my dad who passed away four years ago... and my older sister who's been gone for eight years now.

In the dream, the house I'm in is unfamiliar. But it's a bright sun-shiny type home. My dad's sitting in the kitchen, behind a small dining table. He's eating a snack while reading a book. My mom, little sister, and older brother are in the background doing their own thing.

My dad's talking about a new federal government restriction requiring him to return some books and movies he's checked out from them. He's complaining about this process and I tell him about the city library. Don't worry about those movies 'cause you'll be able to just turn around and borrow from the library!

While we're on the topic of movies, I start talking about the old movies I watched for my Intro to Film class.

I ask, "Have you seen Grapes of Wrath?"

My dad hardly acknowledges my question as he's extremely involved in the book he's reading.

"How 'bout Sunset Boulevard or Rear Window?"

I barely get a nod from him but I continue on 'cause I know he'll recognize the next movie.

"How about The Searchers with John Wayne?"

My dad says, "Oh, yeah. Reminds me of [a movie I can't remember the name of]..."

Hmmm. Nope, they're not similar. I disagree with his comparison but he tells me that he disagrees. We go back & forth a couple of times but I decide it best to continue on. I sense he may be annoyed but continue to ask about several more movies.

He finally says, "You know, I'm really trying to get through this book."

Okay.

Fine.

He wants to be left alone.

With my head down, I exit out the door leading to the back of the house. I stand in the middle of the walkway leading to I-dunno-where. I'm very depressed. So sad. I'm wishing my dad had taken just a moment to pay me some attention. But he didn't.

I start walking slowly, passing people along the way. Nobody cares. They just keep walking. This includes my little sis and my bro.

But, from the corner of my eye, I see my older sister, Raeann. She's carrying some heavy items but, seeing me distraught, she sets them all down and follows me along the path. She puts her arm around me and I lean against her shoulder. It's comforting having her there by my side. She was my protector when I was a kid. Even in my dreams, years after I've seen her alive, she's there for me. There are no words exchanged between the two of us. She was, after all, deaf. But just having her there helps me forget my sadness.

And that's when I woke up.

It was great to see my dad, even if he wasn't too nice to me. But it was even better to have my sister helping me out. I love these dreams where I get to see them again. Rare to have them both in the same dream. 'Twas very sweet.