Panic Attack

I seriously had a panic attack today. Just a mini one.

I had a great lunch with an old classmate. She's trying to hook me up with a Revenue Accountant job at Razorfish. She works with another classmate of ours. Later in the afternoon, I emailed both of them to try to plan a lunch with the three of us. I also mentioned applying for the job. This other guy emails me back and says I better put my resume in ASAP. He said, "...there’s already been some interest in the position, internally and with some former employees." Oh, dude. Already? For some reason, I imagine myself as the only one applying for these jobs.

Then, an old coworker called me about the open Financial Analyst position at Dendreon, a biotech company. I applied there last week. She said she's been nagging the hiring manager about the position and he just talks about how super busy he's been. He said it's really tough going through the hundred plus resumes.

DUDE.

Seriously, the moment she told me that, I started having a mini panic attack. I've been focused only on myself that I've neglected to acknowledge that I'm actually competing against so many other people. The economy is a stinker. People are getting laid off. We're ALL looking for jobs.

SO. HARD. TO. BREATHE.

I'm a little better now but, still, I'm so scared about the future. I don't want to be jobless anymore. I want to work again.

Good news is, my old coworker friend is scheduling a coffee meeting for me with the hiring manager. I'm going to try to do a lot of research tonight, preparing for my little meeting.