Joke Time

A couple of funnies today came my way via email today:

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, I bet you can't tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time."

She said, "You have the biggest dick of all your friends."

Okay, that one's okay. This one's funny...

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY
handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring. He replies: 'I have a question to ask,
but I don't want to offend you.'

She answers, ' My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am
and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just
about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I
would find offensive.'

'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'

She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to
be single and #2, you must be Catholic.'

The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'

'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

'My dear child,' said the nun, 'Why are you crying?'

Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess; I'm married and
I'm Jewish.'

The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween
party.'

For President, I choose...

To me, it's obvious. Obama-Biden on so many levels. I won't go into the details of my endorsement but I will say that I quite enjoyed the comics I picked up a few weeks ago. Two comics... each one the story of each candidate. What a great media outlet to educate a different audience about the candidates! I learned so much about each of them... their strengths, weaknesses, accomplishments, scandals. Neither of them are perfect... but we should expect that from human beings. We're all flawed in one way or another... and that's how we learn from our mistakes. I tend to think my choice in Obama is one of change and a restoration of country's image. McCain's choice of Palin sealed the deal for me. I can't wait to be proud of our President again again.

Here's an email I received this morning. LOVED IT:

Sent: Wednesday, October 22, 2008 11:12 AM
Subject: FW: A Very Interesting Perspective

Obama/Biden vs. McCain/Palin, what if things were switched around?.....think about it.

Would the country's collective point of view be different? Could racism be the culprit?
Ponder the following:

What if the Obamas had paraded five children across the stage, including
a three month old infant and an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter?

What if John McCain was a former president of the Harvard Law Review?

What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?

What if McCain had only married once, and Obama was a divorcee?

What if Obama was the candidate who left his first wife after a severe
disfiguring car accident ?

What if Obama had met his second wife in a bar and had a long affair while
he was still married?

What if Michelle Obama was the wife who not only became addicted to pain
killers but also acquired them illegally through her charitable organization?

What if Cindy McCain graduated from Harvard?

What if Obama had been a member of the Keating Five?
(The Keating Five were five United States Senators accused of corruption
in 1989, igniting a major political scandal as part of the larger Savings
and Loan crisis of the late 1980s and early 1990s.)

What if McCain was a charismatic, eloquent speaker?

What if Obama couldn't 't read from a Teleprompter?

What if Obama was the one who had military experience that included
discipline problems and a record of crashing seven planes?

What if Obama was the one who was known to display publicly, on many
occasions, a serious anger management problem?

What if Michelle Obama's family had made their money from beer distribution?

What if the Obamas had adopted a white child?

You could easily add to this list. If these questions reflected reality,
do you really believe the election numbers would be as close as they are?

This is what racism does. It covers up, rationalizes and minimizes
positive qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative qualities in
another when there is a color difference.


Educational Background:

Barack Obama:
Columbia University - B.A. Political Science with a Specialization in
International Relations.
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude

Joseph Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in Political Science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)

John McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899

Sarah Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism


Education isn't everything, but this is about the two highest offices in
the land as well as our standing in the world. You make the call.

Man, Something Stinks

It's Spotlight Night at the 5th Avenue Theater. General admission seats to get a preview of the upcoming musical... spotlight on Drowsy Chaperone. Had to change seats 'cause it smelled like something died. Seriously. Moved back three rows. From here, we can observe what sucker has to suffer through that stank. Ugh. That was soooooo bad. Hmmmmmm... they don't seem to notice. Guess have people have more tolerance for that...